Not all men are perverts and not all women are sensitive

Following the LinkedIn furore, Charlotte Proudman has kept the debate alive and has recently been quoted as saying: ?‘If people aren’t made to ?feel repercussions then their behaviour won’t change’ ?in defence of her ‘outing’ of ?the partner who sent her inappropriate remarks about her profile picture on the professional networking site.  

I agree with this comment – in isolation. It is the way in which Proudman chose to make the individual ‘feel repercussions’, ?in a fairly aggressive and unprofessional manner, ?which I do not support. 

The aim would be better achieved by asking people to consider how they would want their own merits and those of their wives, sisters, daughters, etc., to be judged.  This is more powerful because there is no scope for criticism of individual conduct, which undoubtedly Proudman and others like her have faced for being ‘feminazis’, who supposedly terrify and alienate men.  

Many people like to speculate about why women are ‘excluded’ in the workplace. Some have attributed this to ‘the always present risk for misinterpretation of romantic interest’. Others have even gone so far as to identify the ‘struggle between friendliness and sexual harassment’. Really? Granted, it is potentially harder (for some people) to distinguish the line between banter and sexism, but between friendliness and sexual harassment? 

So, do people genuinely believe the root cause of the undisputed imbalance can be solely attributed to men terrified of being accused of sexual harassment? Also, are they ?really saying we live in a world where anything other than ?a heterosexual attraction is unheard of? 

Such black and white hypotheses not only do a disservice to men and women, they also do not help to address this issue. There are undoubtedly lecherous men in the workplace and oversensitive women. ?And, believe it or not, there ?are lecherous women and oversensitive men, also. It is wrong to stereotype people, but it is sensible to draw a clear line between sexism and banter.

The line that needs to be explored lies among the more subtle issues. Unconscious bias leads to inhibiting or preferential stereotyping. Though not harassment or discrimination, it leads to women not progressing professionally at the same rate or with the same ease as men. 

While harder to discern, this is not the same as any supposed struggle for either gender to distinguish friendliness from harassment. Of course, the issues are inextricably linked, in that any stereotype of ‘touchy feminists’ does feed into the view that any women who try to establish the boundaries should not be touched with a bargepole (literally and not physically speaking).  

Attempts to attend to my ?own use of certain phrases, such as ‘man up’ or ‘like a girl’, have at best been met with disinterest when I explain my reasoning, ?at worst with eye-rolls and ?laughs as I feel myself being shoehorned into the box marked ‘oversensitive female.’ I don’t even go so far as to correct others, but simply try to change my own perceptions in the hope it will have a knock-on effect. 

I do not see anything wrong in trying to promote a culture where gender is not used derogatorily, particularly without people even meaning it to be. Overt sexism should be challenged, but so should the more subtle strains permeating through society that mean women are still, in 2015, seen as the inferior sex. It is hard not to stereotype men and women, and it is hard to change ingrained behaviours, but that does not mean it is a lost cause or, worse, that we should not try.

Pippa Allsop is a newly qualified solicitor at Michelmores @Pippa_Allsop www.michelmores.com