Felix | Reasons to be Scottish

In the current debate over a referendum on the future of Scotland's place in the United Kingdom, and with Alex Salmond having nabbed the 'Yes' title for the devolution campaign, I have just been appraised of a really good reason for being Scottish and independent. This even overlooks the apparent necessity that all Scottish nationalists appear to have to be named after fish (Alex, of course, then there is Nicola Sturgeon the deputy). All of that can be overlooked for the one fact that last month the Scottish parliament passed the Alcohol (Minimum Pricing) Bill.

Representatives of the British Society of Gastroenterology wrote to The Independent in praise of this landmark development and reminded the paper's readers of the significant benefits of minimum alcohol pricing. There is now a 50p minimum unit price '“ and it is anticipated by the BSG (I assume it is known as that for short) that based on modelling by the University of Sheffield this could lead to a 6.7 per cent decrease in alcohol consumption. The BSG is concerned that the UK parliament is only interested in a 40p minimum price '“ which will lead to disparity and less of a benefit.

It remains one of the most depressing things about politics that the absolutely obvious is not adopted because someone somewhere with a lot of money and votes is/are going to be upset. The drinks industry is hostile to minimum pricing because it will dent their profits. The middle classes think that it is a gross intrusion on their liberty and that it will make all the difference to their enjoyment of white burgundy that they may have to pay a teensy bit more for their pleasures. Only when you visit the carnage on our streets and see the blood in A&E will, it seems, the message might get home. So far the idea that by putting in very tiny letters the wording 'Please Drink Responsibly' is laughable. How many conversations have you over heard in the off licence, pub or in a night club where an imbiber has eagerly bought a round and was full of anticipation of the joys to come when suddenly that person read the magic words 'Please Drink Responsibly' '“ to hear that jolly punter suddenly say: 'Hang on barman, on reflection '“ take these bottles of Bacardi and Jack Daniels back and I'll have five elderflower cordials instead as I have already had my three units tonight.'

Nor is it any help that the new safe limits of boozing are at something like a thimble a day. I can't imagine the Bar at the bar saying after a hard day at the coal face of crime something like: 'Mine's a pippet of red, old boy, mustn't overdo it.' No '“ the only thing that stops anyone from doing anything is the cost. If it is too expensive it does not happen, and if it is a little more expensive then it happens less often.

Costing a fortune

Friends of mine who have worked in A&E departments tell you readily that most people are drunk '“ and whether the shift is going to be a quiet one or not (barring random train crashes and motorway pile-ups) is the weather and how much the Great British People are going to pack away boozing. A nice hot summer night and the day off tomorrow and then it is oblivion '“ glassings, fights and stomach pumps all round. Mind you, it is good for business in the Crown Court, so in some ways we should not be knocking it because if everyone else stops knocking it back then our workload will be seriously reduced and the A&E staff will be playing a lot of Monopoly.

Isn't it obvious? Drunk people '“ truly bladdered people '“ they fight, they smash up cars and other people, and some of them rape. So many sets of mitigation contain the wording that the defendant acted out of character because they were drunk. It costs us all a fortune.

Prevention is better than the cure '“ prevention is better than that when there is no cure. I have sympathy with the recent announcement that losing 250 police officers from the beat will lead to increased crime. Visible police officers do deter criminals. More expensive booze reduces drink-fuelled crime. Why do we have to spend thousands of pounds stitching people back together again and prosecuting and imprisoning the other half of the story?

So, hurrah for the Scots and Alex and co '“ they have got it right. So we should all go off and live in Scotland and wave across the border at the vomiting, bloodied, bankrupted English. Please Drink Responsibly? Please Legislate Responsibly more like. Cheers!