Double grovel, toil and trouble

My bank has just bounced one of my client account cheques. Just a few words but the consequences are horrific. Why did they do this? In 31 years of practice no client account cheque of mine has ever been dishonoured. At the time that the cheque was not met I had in the region of one million pounds in the client account. So why was the bank behaving in this very curious fashion? We live in strange times but surely some things remain sacred?

The answer is of course bizarre. The cheque had been sent to a client before Christmas. They had promptly deposited it with their bank and, when it was due to be paid, my bank in its wisdom chose to telephone my office to confirm that I was happy for the cheque to be paid. When the bank did not get a reply they chose simply to dishonour the cheque. I should point out that the cheque was for £15,000 '“ not a dramatically large amount. We regularly write out cheques for far greater sums which the bank never rings up about, so quite why they chose that cheque to telephone us, I don't know.

Bad behaviour

When I rang my bank manager in something of a rage he muttered something about the signature not being right but, having obtained a copy of that same cheque, the signature was 100 per cent perfect and it seems that in those few days before Christmas and the New Year the bank is obviously staffed by people who do not fully understand the implications of their actions. Not surprising really, given the behaviour of our lending institutions leading up to the credit crunch.

My bank tends to ring me two or three times a year about transactions. I suspect it is because they have internal systems that demand that they do so, but they are normally very half-hearted calls and I don't understand why such a call should have been made on the 27 December when any bank manager in his right mind would have realised that solicitors are shutting up shop and there would be no one to talk to.

The sadness of this tale is that the bank manager to this day does not seem to have any true realisation of the consequences of dishonouring a client account cheque. He regards it as just one of those run-of-the-mill mistakes that sometimes occur. But the person who had the cheque dishonoured must have had that slight concern that there was something wrong with my client account.

A minor detail

The problem we have these days is that bank managers tend not to understand the profession. They do not understand that a good deal of solicitors' work is still done on trust and that the value of a solicitor's undertaking is considerable. They do not understand that solicitors' client account cheques are sacred and to dishonour one in the circumstances described above, while having considerable importance to myself, appears to be a matter of detail and little consequence to the bank.

Bank managers now exist in little more than name. There was a time when one had a manager that one could have lunch with and discuss the problems of practice. Now we have 'Area Relationship Managers' '“ nameless people in offices many miles away and a quite staggering turnover of personnel. They come, they go and quite where they disappear to, one never really finds out.

Very few of them have any interest in the business and while they have their invariable practice of asking to see a copy of your profit and loss account and balance sheet, they never seem to understand what the figures on those documents mean.

Not like the old days

When I started off in practice my firm had one particular manager who stayed at the branch for over ten years. He understood my firm, knew the people working there and was happy to help in tough times. The bank manager was always somebody who would be invited to office parties and events; we exchanged clients and there was a bond between bank and lawyer.

These days the bank managers are oh so much younger than previously. A lot of them seem to have little or no real knowledge of business and commerce. They fail to appreciate that sometimes things have to be done quickly. It was only recently that I managed to get a hot line directly to a manager rather than being passed to and fro in a call centre in South Wales, South Africa or India. This was particularly frustrating as my offices are opposite my local branch and I can practically call to them out of my window. Being put through to a call centre in Wales and being asked my mother's maiden name and various other tricky questions before I am allowed to speak to anyone in authority is enormously frustrating.

It is sad that banks are no longer supportive of private practice and sadder still that they seem to be losing the opportunity to support private practice in growth. It is very interesting that the banks were immediately picked up by the Government when they experienced problems in a way that is never likely to happen to the legal profession no matter how difficult the way ahead.

So how did my story end? I was visited by a senior manager. I received a large payment as the bank's way of saying sorry. They sent my client and I a grovelling letter of apology. I continue to feel uneasy about the cavalier fashion in which my client's account was dishonoured.

A dog's dinner of a tale? You bet.