Biting the hand that represents you

After two years of swingeing cuts to the justice system one might expect anyone finding themselves before the courts simply glad to be represented by a skilled advocate. Well, apparently not.

In a move that has had many criminal practitioners scratching their heads - and more than a couple of legal hacks laughing like the hyenas we are - a criminal allegedly stole his own barrister's mobile phone when appearing in court to admit drug and driving offences.

None of us would have been aware of the audacious heist without this comprehensive explanation from Scotland Yard's @MPSBexley Twitter account: 'Bobby Heath, 25, has just been charged with stealing his barrister's mobile phone.'

Heath was charged with the bold theft after his brief's handset disappeared at Bexley Magistrates' Court on 1 May. The cheeky thief had been appearing in court to plead guilty to charges of possession of cannabis and driving without insurance.

The criminal mastermind was fined £65 plus a £20 victim surcharge for the drug possession and fined £100 plus £150 court costs. He also had his driving licence endorsed with six points. But apparently Heath likes the décor of Bexley Mags so much that he just can't stay away.

One can only imagine why he decided to nick his own lawyer's phone. Maybe he wasn't satisfied with the legal advice he received? But regardless of his reasons - assuming he has any - Heath has been bailed to appear again on 2 June regarding the alleged theft of the phone.

No word yet on whether Heath will be able to find any lawyer to represent him at his next hearing.