Ash scattering is a part of the job
The life of a solicitor is never dull but it can be depressing, says Russell Conway
Being a partner in a small firm of solicitors means that I am sometimes made an executor of a client's will. That in itself is no problem but occasionally it can be a depressing task.
Rummaging around in a dead person's flat seeking out the all-important bank statements, insurance policies and other important documents can be a lonely job; all the trappings of a happy and fulfilled lifestyle sadly cut short - sometimes in their prime. Often there is nobody else available to do this - or if they could they are in another country, or too old or ill to assist.
Lawyers know what to look for. I have an uncanny homing instinct as to where these documents will be. In these cases there is often a funeral to attend. It is usually a cremation as clients are increasingly wary of expensive burials and relatives often do not have the funds to afford a lavish burial ceremony.
Cremations can be a bit grim. The relatives, if there are any, but more of that later), shuffle around nervously. Some approach me and ask when the will will be read. It always astonishes me that the power of Hollywood has led us all to believe that shortly after a funeral the will is inevitably read. People expect the drama of the envelope being opened and the list of beneficiaries being read out however, this happens very rarely indeed.
Twice I have had to attend burials where there were no mourners except me. One was a particularly bleak paupers' burial many years ago where the absence of relatives meant there was also an absence of a coffin. Of course it was raining. And there was frost and an icy wind.
The worst of these occasions involve young lives cut short. Recently I attended a funeral for a former solicitor who had died at just 45 years of age with three children under 11. There were many young people in the congregation several of which told me that this was their first funeral. The sight of those three young children following the coffin into the church is one which will haunt me for a number of years.
Clients sometimes have a sense of humour. A particular old gentleman always used to turn up to office with a huge bunch of keys. This used to amuse me and I always asked him what they were used for. When he died he left a letter of wishes stating that I should be given the bunch of keys. They remain to this day in a drawer. The mystery of what they should open never having been solved.
Others have strange wishes for their executor. One client wanted me to bury her with her cats - ensconced in jiffy bags in a filing cabinet. Another client wanted me to scatter her ashes over her married lover's grave. This involved a visit to a huge cemetery in Woking and a day long search for an unmarked grave. Eventually the ashes were scattered.
Ash scattering can be a part of the job. For a while I had three urns on a shelf in my office, much to the concern of my secretary. All were duly scattered in days when ash scattering was free. Nowadays many sites charge a fee.
The life of a solicitor is never dull. But it can be depressing.
At least having Cosmo the dog makes ash scattering a little bit more fun.