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Exit poll – Norfolk style

Would the country be better run by hedgehogs,

wonders Richard Barr. Some would say things could hardly get any worse

4 July 2017

The polling stations had just closed. Despite the temptation, there was not a spoiled ballot among us. The Monster Raving Loony Party did not field a candidate so we had to vote sensibly.

However, the exit polls suggested the results were not what was expected. We opened the hatch. Jeremy popped out first, turned sharp left, and strode resolutely through the long grass. He was followed by Tim, who wandered off to the right of Jeremy (or was it the left?) and scurried away. But Theresa took no action: she just remained curled up in a ball.

Life in this Norfolk outpost continues as normal since the election. Each year we have at least one crop of ducklings. But this yearly event divides the family. My view is that we should not encourage them. Do them no harm but make it clear they have not been invited; they are here on sufferance. Fluffy and cuddly they may be when hatched, ...

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